Q&A: Please, Rate/Hate My Verse (Audio)?
Question by Adult Abuse: Please, Rate/Hate My Verse (Audio)?
This is the rough draft until I get in an actual Studio. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Lyrics:
As I sit at the bar drinkin my Hennessy Plain
I take the Alcohol Train straight to Memory Lane
I think about how my success is my Enemy’s Pain
& its insane how Slavery Pretends to be “Fame”
I used to gang bang but I felt stupid throwin’ Hand Signs
steppin’ on the wrong block’s like steppin’ on a Land Mine
Fame & Respect is why you Aimin’ a Tech
But Claimin’ a Set is like playing a Game of Roulette
Your next move could be your Final One,
You wanna Stand Up & Brawl? Your Chances Are Small like the Clippers makin’ a Title Run
Gangsters, Dealers, Prostitutes, Fiends
But the worst of it all is Cops Who Shoot Teens
Black Kid Thuggin’ It, White Cop Lovin’ It
Cliché, Both are being played by the Government
At school, my books had pages missing & the Covers Bent
$ .hitty but they won’t give the inner-city a ƒuckin Cent
& The Landlord wanna Up The Rent,
While kids my age keep their hands on more heat than an Oven Mitt
We didn’t have Alotta Options
While other kids played with balloons in my hood we Got It Poppin’
I went from petty theft to Breaking & Entering
selling weed just to buy a Playstation & Timberlands
It seemed like every week I Fought In The School
just because I claimed Crip & I Thought it was Cool
Skipped class with my boys when I couldn’t even Read Well
Sprayed cologne before I got home to hide the Weed Smell
My best friend died but Those Are The Breaks
The day he was buried, I refused to Go To His Wake
My friends thought I lost it & I had No Devotion
I just couldn’t stand to see him dead with No Emotion
But there’s been times that I Soaking In Tears
Liquor hit the ground every time I Opened a Beer
Alotta Sh•t is Real
Young girls look for love to take care of the void their Fathers Should’ve Filled
Baby Girl pregnant, Baby-Daddy leavin’
Baby grow up Fatherless, the sh•t keeps repeatin’
& The media never Reflect on our Ability
We either playin’ ball or in Correctional Facilities
Drama, We Love It. What’s Stressin’ Me see
The world is like Sesame Street & Obama’s a Puppet
Oscar is homeless, Elmo Sellin Crack On The Curb
& Kermit’s in jail for Clappin’ The Bird
Miss Piggy’s well known to sell her ass in the City
Bert & Ernie @ the crib blazin’ Sacks of the Herb
The world spins around on it’s axis
Uncle Tom serves Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam wants his Taxes
I spit rhymes to make you brothers think
Yo Bartender, Make Another Drink…
@Blaq
yo that means alot, fam. You can convert it if u want, I’d rather people download it when its all nice & polished but if you’re feeling this version, then feel free.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to listen to me ramble…
Best answer:
Answer by LOL!
Tell me when your album comes out.
Seriously.
11/10
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
I’m really into underground and I have to say, that was pretty decent. You pause a bit between words and it’d be better if the beats don’t just repeat repeat repeat to the song, mix it up a little. Lastly, you should consider getting a few more people together to make the vocals a little more dynamic.
That was raaaaaaw. 9.9/10 most defiantly.
I was even highlighting shit to show you what I liked best, but eventually I almost highlighted the whole thing…
I’m not trying to be on your nuts or anything, but for real, that’s my shit. Would you mind sending me this file or allowing me to convert and download this piece? I’d like it on my iPod.
Edit: If I had to pick one favorite line, it would be this:
While other kids played with balloons in my hood we got it poppin’
… But I’m listening to it again and I like this part even more:
The world is like Sesame Street & Obama’s a Puppet
Oscar is homeless, Elmo Sellin Crack On The Curb
& Kermit’s in jail for Clappin’ The Bird
Miss Piggy’s well known to sell her *** in the City
Bert & Ernie @ the crib blazin’ Sacks of the Herb
Just damn…
Edit: Hey, thank you. I just downloaded it, and if you get it finished up, link me. Also, I’m waiting for you to drop a CD or a mixtape or something man… please keep me updated. lol
10/10
Mann, liked, commented and subscribed .
Can’t wait to hear more from you !!
dope
That’s that buisness…very good rap!
DUDDEEEE THATS SICKKKK BROO check out mine too
holy shit that was good
pretty good ..
“I used to gang bang but I felt stupid throwin’ Hand Signs
steppin’ on the wrong block’s like steppin’ on a Land Mine” = HOT!
“I spit rhymes to make you brothers think
Yo Bartender, Make Another Drink” = Nice
i thought your sesame street reference was lame to me ..
Nuttin’ but love for you man. Everything that I’ve heard that you’ve done has been stellar. At this point it’s just a matter of time until you’re in the right place and the right person hears you. When that happens, the only thing that you’ll need is a good attorney to read over the contract and a pen to sign your name with.
Blaq hit the nail on the head…”Damn” about sums it up!
Keep us all in the loop to let us know when things take off!
PS – Here’s some instrumentals to consider rapping over!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzHuImdeBi0&feature=PlayList&p=8A7ECF7AF4BDC2F2&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=17
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkfAAabO9jc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=effQCoIU5WU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4KPNC3Lgag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ19hW5pN_M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT_0moACAF8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa1Aj9ol4T0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v29MfESqkJ8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7071qI2Z8w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppDQUld7H-4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOrYhIYHYz4
Keep up the good work!
Man you killed it hot shi*
Read everyone else comments and thats basically my opinion.
Great flow, make some more verses, that was sick.
bro thats fuckin legit
Real great your better than 99% of these mainstream idiots like Lil Wayne etc.
Make an album i’ll be the first person to buy it
This is my rington on my Mobile lol